“Check Baby Light” Maintenance

From what I've been told, when a baby comes out of Momma's belly, they don't come with an instruction manual.  And when the midwife (or doctor) hands the baby to Momma post-delivery, they don't give Dad a troubleshooting guide for helping with all the little surprises your bundle of joy will bring.  So how does a parent go from 'baby whispering' of pleading quietly and gently with your baby to "please go to sleep" to a baby whisperer where the whispers are only because your baby is soundly sleeping?  After this past week in 'Baby U', we've learned the answer: deciphering the all-important, pre-cry language babies inherently speak.  It turns out there is a baby trouble-shooting guide*! *Obviously, not having a baby yet, this is purely speculation on my part.  But a lot of people in the class backed this up. I had (once again, wrongly) assumed  babies had one cry that meant everything from "I'm hungry" to "change me" and the occasional "I just want to mess with Mom and Dad, so I'm going to cry for the next 2 hours".  In fact, they give you little indicators that Mom and Dad can pick up on to make everyone's lives much, much easier - the "pre-cries" are (each one has an embedded youtube link so you can hear them): Eh - "Burp me because I've inherited Daddy's gas genes and my belly hurts"!  This is generally one of the most frequent cries, and can be short, quick bursts of "eh, eh, EH, EH!!!" as your little one gets frustrated that you aren't listening and responding fast enough. Neh - "I'm hungry, get some food in my baby belly".  Yeah, sounds a lot like 'burp me', but you'll see your baby's tongue push against the roof of their mouth (a calming pressure point).  It can be accompanied with side-to-side head turning, licking of lips, and sucking of fists. Heh - "I'm uncomfortable because I'm too hot/cold/sitting in a diaper of poo".  Also sounds similar to 'eh' and 'neh', but has a panting-like sound to it.  Change your baby's diaper, move your baby around, or add/remove a layer of clothing - or just do them all. Owh - "I'm tired and want to go to bed, so if you don't get me to sleep asap, I'm getting a second and third wind and will keep you up for hours".  Pick up that baby and bounce it around to get it to sleep fast.  This is like being up at 4am and exhausted, but unable to fall back asleep so you just toss and turn, except you're now screaming at the top of your lungs - because if you can't sleep, no one is sleeping! Eairh - "You didn't burp me earlier, so the gas went down to my lower tummy and wow does it hurt"!  You may have missed your baby's "eh" cries, and now you're going to pay for it.  This is the "fire-and-brimstone, wrath-of-God" crying that comes with lots of jerky movements and parents with obvious pleas of desperation in their eyes.  This cry also always happens at the worst possible times too, like being in a crowded area.  The odds that your baby has a blowout during this cry go up exponentially. I was able to hear the differences when listening to each cry individually and with lots of examples; much like a car's "check engine" light coming on.  Hearing the cries together - well, everything sounded exactly the same!  Ol' Dad here has some practicing to do before being able to tell the difference.  But the good news is that we learned babies like routines, and regular maintenance checkups can ensure Mommy, Daddy and Baby are all as happy as can be.  They even gave us a log to track our baby's tune-ups: maintenance schedule I'm already at work creating a database to enter and record all this information, so that we can do predictive analytics on our lil' Violetta's timings and what's the best way to handle each of the 5 pre-cry situations. We're in the 25th week, and Little Violetta's brain and nervous system continue to develop and her senses are sharpening.  Her little hands are now completely formed, they're just incredibly tiny and like a big goof, she's still pretty uncoordinated.  Her cerebral cortex continues to grow; adding more wrinkles and folds to her brain, which will enable everything from reasoning, planning, problem solving and even emotion.  With Momma's Italian genes, I'm sure her emotional development is well ahead of schedule!  Lil' V is reacting a lot more to outside stimuli, and loud noises can turn into bouts of squirming and the occasional "sweep the rib!" karate-style kick. Beautiful Momma and Baby at week 25: 2013-05-26 Week 25

3 thoughts on ““Check Baby Light” Maintenance

  1. put all those baby cries together, multiply x1000 and you have one Grandma crying her eyes out from laughter and this post!

  2. Todd, I’m with your Mom laughing/crying about the baby cries!!!! Who knew they had different cries for different needs!!! So happy for you both…little Violetta is one lucky little lady to have the two of you for parents!!! Gayle

  3. Dood, when they hand Momma the baby they give you the “poor, useless sucker” look…so make sure you are looking for it when it happens! Or maybe that was just me…

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